what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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