just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
