I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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