u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
