Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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