On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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