At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
