I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
