She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
