he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
