Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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