Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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