Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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