It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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