I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
