found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Randomize
