dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
