Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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