if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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