Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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