Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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