that's an acceptable place to lick
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
