Your face is a jimmy john
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
