i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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