So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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