I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Randomize