i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
