That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
