Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize