he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
