I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
