Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
