Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
home. puking in laundry basket.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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