Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
