then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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