Capitaan dildo arrescate!
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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