well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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