I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Dignity is for republicans.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
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