She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
