He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
