im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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