He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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