Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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