At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
