he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
