Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
