discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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