I wanna passion pit in your ass
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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