Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
