I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
