so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
