Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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