i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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