Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
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I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
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At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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