He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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