I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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