I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
