First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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