I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
