no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
