I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
