a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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