Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
